Setting Goals

Sometimes I debate not writing about a topic because it has already been thoroughly covered by many other people. There are a million articles and books about setting goals and sticking with goals and knowing when to give up on goals. I have read many of those myself, as someone who likes to strategize my time to establish a bit of control over the chaos of life. Despite having read countless articles and having tried a wide range of goal setting and management techniques over the years, I am still experimenting with what works best for me. And I suspect that what works best will continue to change over time as my life circumstances change. So I wanted to share some thoughts I’ve had about goal setting recently, as I’m in the midst of figuring out my next big professional and personal goals. (Get ready to be totally sick of the word ‘goal’ by the end of this post! I did my best.)

I’ve been thinking lately about a couple of goals I’ve had over the years that felt magically effortless. I worked toward those goals without any doubt that I would achieve them or any worry that they were the right thing to be doing. What was the secret sauce that made those goals so easy to tackle, and can I extend it to my other goals?

The two goals in question were to take a big backpacking trip and to run a marathon. These were both goals that I’ve had since I was a kid, and they were a bit random- they just seemed cool and fun and I felt pretty confident that I’d be able to do them. I never worried about whether they would happen; instead, I felt a sense of certainty that they would happen when the time was right. Over the years, I kept a mental antenna up to sense when it was the right time to execute them. In 2019, the time felt right to take the leap and travel, even though I didn’t have much money or a clear plan of what the travel would look like. (It was an amazing 6 month adventure, and I’m so glad I did it at that point in my life.) And in 2022, I finally started running, despite my life-long hatred of running. It didn’t matter that I hated it, because I knew that I was going to run a marathon anyway because I had been envisioning it for years. (I’m signed up for my first marathon next year and am now an avid runner- I can’t wait!)

A few things stand out when I reflect on these goals. I think a key to their success is that I began by envisioning them with relative clarity. I knew that I had the ability to reach these goals and that I would be able to work through any obstacles that came along. It didn’t matter what the obstacles were; from a lack of funds to a distaste for running, these were just challenges to work through, not reasons to doubt the goal itself. These goals also presented challenges that I was excited to work on. They built skills that I cared about and were themselves things I would be proud to achieve. Running has been especially interesting, because this goal led me to find a passion for something I otherwise would never have tried. I thought I hated running, but it just took some time to find my flow.

Perhaps the lesson for me here is that goals are not just about doing a thing, but instead about the person I can become on the way to doing that thing. The goals that have felt the most rewarding and the easiest to work on have been goals that gave room to challenge my ideas of myself, push my limits, and trust my gut. In the past, I have struggled with goals because I didn’t fully believe in them, or because I didn’t really see the point, and each step was filled with doubt. Does this actually get me where I want to go? Is it the best use of my time? Dealing with those questions is exhausting and chasing those kinds of goals has been unfulfilling.

As I look to the future and think about my current goals, this is my approach. First, find the vision. This is key for me- I have to believe in a goal and envision myself achieving it in order to commit to it. This might mean adjusting the goal until I find a version of it I can believe in, but once I see it and feel excited about it, everything else is just building a path to get there. Second, I am okay with big, messy goals. I trust in my ability to find a way through the mess. In fact, the mess might even be part of the appeal if it challenges me to grow. Third, it has to be a goal I’ll be proud to achieve. The only way I’ll care enough to commit to a goal is if I will truly feel proud to have completed it.

And that’s kinda it! I don’t know how helpful this will be for anyone else, but I wanted to share it anyway to show that setting goals is deeply personal and there is no one right way to do it. I’ve tried setting SMART goals in the past, and while I think that is an effective framework for completing specific tasks, I have found that it lacks an emotional resonance that is key for me when setting a goal. I trust myself to figure out how to get things done; what matters more is that I have the passion and vision for a goal to actually care enough to get it done.

I don’t regret reading all those articles or trying so many techniques for setting goals. I’ve learned something about myself with each new experiment, and I’ve let go of the idea that I will someday find the One True technique for managing my time or ambitions. Instead, I’ve realized that this is a process that will continue to evolve as my life shifts. The only constant is change, and my focus now is being flexible enough to adapt- to keep working toward what matters to me and expanding myself as a person through the ebbs and flows of life.

Thanks as always for reading, and feel free to share your thoughts. Have you made any new goals this summer?

PS.. With all this talk of goals, I want to add: Go Team USA!!